1. Scout it out. Before school starts, take a walk or drive by the school and let your child see the route you both will be traveling each morning and afternoon. Point out the school office, the library and any other areas of the school that you can see from the street. Try guessing which classroom your child may be in and talk about what he or she may be learning this upcoming school year.

2. Start a trend of going to bed earlier every day of the week. It will be easier to fall asleep the night before the first day of school if your child has already established a habit of an earlier bedtime.

3. Visit the school website. Spend some time with your child reviewing the cafeteria menu, supply list, teacher roster and anything and everything else that may catch your child’s attention.

4. Make friends. If your child will be new to the school, call the school office a few weeks ahead and request a phone call or visit from a host family. Invite the family over for a casual dinner or dessert so your child will know a familiar face before the first day of school.

5. Don’t skip the open house. Attending this informative event is essential in order to learn what will be expected from you as parents, as well as your child, this upcoming year.

6. Get your child’s school clothes ready a week prior to the first day of school. Whether your child wears a uniform or regular clothing, have their clothes clean, ironed and ready to go. Every second counts on such a hectic morning.

7. No loitering on the first day. Walk your child to the door, help them locate their desk and lunch cubby, kiss them on the cheek and say goodbye. Avoid the urge to circle back and peer through the window to see how your child is doing. It makes it much harder on your child to say goodbye the second time around.

8. Help your child find the restroom. It’s important for a child to know where key locations are and the bathroom is top on this list.

9. Make a special breakfast. Plan a special “First Day of School” menu with your child and offer a selection of healthy choices. Set the table the night before and sit down together to eat breakfast. Attempting to slow down the pace on a busy morning will relax your child and give them time to ask you questions or discuss fears.

10. Assure your child that everyone gets a little nervous on the first day of school. Talk about what other children are probably feeling and how the feeling will pass very soon. Remind them that you will see them in the afternoon and how you will look forward to hearing all about their day.

For more great advice on life, family, kids and marriage, visit Hitched.

Diane Gottsman, a nationally recognized etiquette expert, is the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, a company specializing in etiquette training for corporations, universities and individuals, striving to polish their interpersonal skills. You can reach Diane at 877-490-1077 or www.protocolschooloftexas.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @: www.twitter.com/DianeGottsman.

feature photo from Your New Favorite Song

Should men be allowed to witness their children’s birth?  This controversial question seems to be one that depends heavily on each spouse’s temerpament and ability to cope with pain and stress. While many women would never consider giving birth without their husbands, there must be many more who wish he wasn’t there. Conversely, while some dads would be devastated at missing the birth of their child, there are others who would secretly breath a huge sigh of relief at being excluded.

“Barely survived the delivery” Tshirt by Zazzle

I came across a very interesting article by Michel Odent, a top obstetrician, on why men should NEVER be at the birth of their child. You can take a look at it here, and it is an interesting read, whether or not you agree with him.

Dr. Odent states: Having been involved in childbirth for 50 years, and having been in charge of 15,000 births, I have reached the stage where I feel it is time to state what I – and many midwives and fellow obstetricians – privately consider the obvious… That there is little good to come for either sex from having a man at the birth of a child.

Personally, I have delivered two babies in the presence of my husband, and was a wonderful source of support and comfort to me. I also think it was a positive experience for him (although maybe I’ll ask him about that later, just to clarify!).  Then again, I gave birth in relative comfort (I have to say I love that epidural) but I’m sure it would have been a much more stressful experience for both of us if I’d done it without.

Dr. Odent talks about his observations as to why it is better that husbands stay out of the delivery room, and let their wives birth in peace. The phenomena of men being present at childbirth is relatively recent, beginning in the 70′s, as more and more women started to give birth in the hospital. Up until that point, it was mainly a woman’s event, with the mother surrounded by other women including her mother, aunts, sisters, or midwives. The husband was left to boil the water, pace the hallway, and smoke his pipe.

Although there is a lack of scientific study on this subject, Dr. Odent has observed that often men are a hindrance to the ease of his wife’s labor, causing it to be are longer, more painful and more likely to result in intervention.

This may be for two reasons. One, a woman in labour needs to be in a quiet, private world where she doesn’t have to think or talk.  When she tries to “share the experience”, with her husband, the focus is taken off her personal experience and directed toward including, intuiting, and often soothing, her husband.  This complicates the process.

The second reason is that, quite naturally, the sight of his wife in pain causes dad to release the stress hormone adrenaline.  No matter how much he tries to appear relaxed and positive, he cannot help but feel anxious.  And anxiety, even hidden under a reassuring smile, is contagious. His tension prevents the woman from being as relaxed as she needs to be during labor, making the process longer and more difficult.

Then there is the affect that childbirth has on the father. No doubt the miracle of childbirth is something beautiful and uplifting, a family bonding experience that some men wouldn’t give up for anything.

But for others, the experience may be more traumatic than they’ll admit. Dr. Odent  says that over the years he has seen something akin to post-natal depression in many men who have been present at the birth.  This will cause them to exhibit strange behaviors, like take to bed for a week after the baby is born, leaving their wives to care for the newborn. Or, they may try to escape to the golf course or local bar.  In extreme cases, the experience may even cause deeper psychological damage, or lead to divorce or the father abandoning his family.

One last point that Dr. Odent makes, is that there are some things we prefer to do in private, in order to preserve a degree of modesty and mystery.”And,” adds Dr. Odent, “For the benefit of our sex lives, it may be worth adding childbirth to this list.”  I don’t think I need to elaborate on this point…

He sums it up by saying, “It is time to go back to basics, and turn modern convention on its head.  When it comes to the delivery suite, men would be well advised to stay away.”

These observations are based on one man’s personal experiences, and not on large scientific studies. But it doe give you something to think about! What’s your opinion?

Some benefits of Hypnotism during Pregnancy & Childbirth:

• Increases fertility by reducing stress, which is known to be a barrier to getting pregnant
• Overcoming morning sickness
• Quitting smoking (benefiting you and your baby)
• Increase energy levels
• Maintaining a confident body image through pregnancy and after the birth
• Reduces mood swings, anxiety, and tension, and fear
• Helps relieve aches and pains, heartburn, flatulence, backaches, swollen feet and legs, high blood pressure, and other pregnancy-related discomforts
• Enables a more relaxed, pleasant birthing experience
• Reduces the length of labor
• Reduces need for medical interventions and pain medications
• Creates deeper levels of bonding with your baby
• Avoiding the “baby blues” and overcoming post natal depression

How Hypnosis works during Pregnancy & Childbirth:

Ms. Leaton explains that learning hypnosis techniques enables your mind and body to relax, as your brain wave patterns change from the beta waves (normal waking consciousness) to alpha waves (drowsy relaxation) to theta wave patterns (associated with dreaming). Practicing during pregnancy helps relieve pregnancy-associated stress and discomfort, and prepairs you for a birth free of anxiety. The more you practice, the deeper the state of relaxation you will be able to achieve. This will allow you to more greatly numb your perception of pain at the time of the birth.

If you are curious what it feels to be hypnotized, HypBirth elaborates:

“Hypnosis is a natural process and is part of our daily lives though we may be unaware of it. For example, haven’t you driven several miles in your car and suddenly realized you couldn’t remember what you had just passed? There is no threat of danger in these situations, your conscious mind has simply left the driving to your subconscious, allowing yourself some time for a good daydream. This is a form of self-hypnosis…”

“It is worth remembering that before pharmaceuticals became available to assist in pain control, the only technique available was mind control,” says Ms. Leaton, “And you can learn to use your mind to put your natural opiates to work.”

For further reading:

How Does Hypnosis Make For Easy Pregnancy And Childbirth?

Hypnosis for Labor: Mind over Matter

Hypnosis for pregnancy and childbirth

HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Meathod

What is Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum Depression is a common psychological side-effect of childbirth. As many as one in five new mothers in the U.S. experiences postpartum depression shortly after childbirth, leading to feelings of sadness and hopelessness. Another seven percent of women battle major depression after giving birth. If not properly diagnosed and treated, postpartum depression can lead new mothers to attempt suicide, neglect or even harm their newborns.

Can it really be predicted?

But now, researchers at the University of California, Irvine said they can fairly accurately predict which women will later suffer from postpartum depression, using a simple blood test. This type of screening test could one day become part of a woman’s standard prenatal care, along with the gestational diabetes screen, which is typically performed around 24 to 28 weeks of pregnancy.

This would work by measuring the level of a hormone produced by the placenta around the 25th week of pregnancy.  The study found that women with higher levels of placental corticotropin-releasing hormone (pCRH) midway through pregnancy were more likely to develop postpartum depression. The blood test correctly identified 75% of those who had future postpartum depression symptoms.

In pregnant women, the placenta pumps out 100 times more CRH than is normally produced by the hypothalamus. The hormone has been nicknamed the “placental clock” because it is thought to prepare the woman’s body for childbirth, said psychologist Ilona Yim, who worked on the study.

Levels of CRH and other hormones drop after the mother gives birth, which Yim said causes hormone “withdrawal” that can create havoc with the endocrine system.

“It puts the whole system out of whack,” she said in a telephone interview. (Reuters)

Other risk factors for postpartum depression include a history of depression or premenstrual syndrome, stress and anxiety during pregnancy, a lack of social support, and fluctuating hormone levels. The presence of high levels of CRH in the body triggers a variety of reactions, including an increase in the production of stress hormones, like cortisol. This can lead to the development of mental disorders, such as severe depression.

While antidepressant drugs can sometimes relieve postpartum depression, Yim urged a preventive approach, such as having at-risk women learn relaxation techniques common in prenatal yoga classes, and bolstering the emotional ties they may need. (Reuters)

You know what they say about an ounce of prevention… If doctors really can predict and watch for postpartum depression, it seems that could save many families much grief. It will be intereting to see what comes of this important study!

My brother and his pregnant wife spent the weekend with us. I haven’t seen them since she was in her first trimester, and not showing yet. Now she is definitely showing! I told my mother later on that I wasn’t sure who gained more pregnancy weight, my brother or his wife. My mom was not amused.

Not only has he gained weight, he seemed exceptionally tired. Both of them dozed off on the couch quite a number of times. Having been twice been pregnant myself, I understand the sheer exhaustion that comes with growing a baby. But what was his excuse? (Ya, sure, you were up late studying on Thursday, uh huh…) And I saw him in the kitchen polishing off the rest of the brownies. Pregnancy cravings are reserved for the Mama, so stop eating! At least he wasn’t racing her to the bathroom every five minutes….

Well I don’t know what we can attribute my brother’s new appetite, added pounds, and drowsiness to, but some men experience a real, medical condition, complete with morning sickness and vomiting! According to About.com, it’s called Couvade Syndrome.

Couvade comes from the French word couvee meaning “to hatch”. It has come to mean a man having a “sympathetic pregnancy.” Yes, ladies, this means that your partner could start to vomit, gain weight, and have many of the “joys” associated with pregnancy.

Generally, couvade syndrome begins in the end of the first trimester and increases in severity until the third trimester. The only known cure for couvade is — birth.

You may be skeptical (especially if you’re the pregnant woman!), but this is something that has actually been researched and found to be quite real. Some estimate that nearly 80% of men feel some form of the symptoms of a sympathetic pregnancy. Believe it or not, some men even experience labor pains (but if they expect to get sympathy for that, they better think again!)

Symptoms of Couvade Syndrome include:

• nausea and morning sickness
• weight gain
• heartburn
• fatigue
• bowels changes
• cravings
• headache
• abdominal cramps
• changes in sexual desire.

A note to the men: Pregnancy etc suggests that there are more constructive ways for men to experience your own sympathetic pregnancy, rather than laying on the couch, moaning. Or eating her ice cream. Don’t forget that she is probably feeling a more intense version of what you’re feeling — take good care of her! If you want to be supportive, try the following:

• Cravings: Your wife may have cravings — weird cravings — indulge her, but be careful about indulging too much yourself. Avoiding these typically fatty, spicy and sweet treats will help you avoid the sympathetic heartburn, weight gain and indigestion associated with sympathetic pregnancy. Keep some healthier versions of her cravings around so that you can eat alongside her without fearing the extra fat and calories. It may be a good thing — she may choose to eat healthier alongside you.
• Exercise: If you find yourself indulging a bit too much in your wife’s pregnancy cravings, encourage her to get out for a walk with you, or take a yoga class with her. You may be surrounded by pregnant moms, but they’ll all appreciate your effort!
• Sleep: Sleep deprivation is a common pregnancy woe. New dads may be doing their own tossing and turning due to the stress and worry of a baby on the way. They may also lose sleep because their wife is having difficulty sleeping. Make your wife comfortable, sleep in the guest room or buy a bigger bed!
• Stress/Anticipation: You and your wife may be worried about your new baby, especially if it is your first. Support your wife and alleviate your worries by taking childbirth education classes, participate in a daddy boot camp and help your wife prepare for the baby by getting the nursery ready, getting the baby’s layette, etc. Being prepared can go a long way in alleviating the stress and associated side affects of pregnancy.

A note to the women: Though you might be tempted to roll your eyes and tell your dear husband to knock it off, you might have to admit that his symptoms are not purely psychosomatic . Associated Content says that According to Science Daily, a Canadian study points to hormonal changes as a possibly cause for Couvade Syndrome. Researchers found elevated levels of the hormone estradiol and lower levels of testosterone and cortisol in expectant dads. The hormone estradiol is connected with motherly feelings. A previous study also noted an increase of the hormone prolactin, a female hormone that is linked with the production of milk in women. So it looks like approaching fatherhood leads to hormonal changes too… Pregnancy is full of changes on many levels, and fathers may feel it as well!

Spend time together. Talk about your feelings, talk to your doctor, take a birth class or a tour of the hospital. Decorate the nursery, or shop here for new baby items together! Make it a bonding experience!

How to be a Pregnant Father: This is an actual book! Get in on Amazon.com!

Kaohsiung Medical University in Taiwan did a recent study featuring music therapy and pregnany women. According to StaffNurse.com, a group of women listened to music for 30 minute a day, that included Brahms’ Lullaby and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and composers like Beethoven and Debussy. After two weeks, these women showed a significant drop on the “Perceived Stress Scale” and the “State-Trait Anxiety Inventory,” as well as a drop in depression ratings.

Researcher Professor Chung-Hey Chen said: “Pregnancy is a unique and stressful period for many expectant mothers and they suffer anxiety and depression because of the long time period involved… Our study shows that listening to suitable music provides a simple, cost-effective and non-invasive way of reducing stress, anxiety and depression during pregnancy.”