Things No One Told You About Having a Baby

There are a lot of things you DO know about having a baby. You will be tired. You will struggle to loose your baby weight. You will change lots of diapers and walk around with spit-up on your shoulder. You will love your baby more than anything else in the whole world. But there are some things that may come as a complete shock and no one has thought to prepare you for it!

That’s where we, oh-so-graciously, come in, so don’t say we didn’t warn you!  Remember, parenthood is not for the faint of heart, but it will completely change your life for the better. Adapted from iVillage’s 13 Things No One Told You About Having a Baby.

The world is suddenly a Scary Place to bring up children

Second-hand smoke, deadly chemicals in your baby shampoo, vaccines that may cause autism, BPA-leaching baby bottles, lead in teething toys, and germs lurking everywhere. It may seem completely overwhelming and terrifying at first. But eventually you realize that you can’t protect your child from everything… and what doesn’t kill ’em will just make ’em stronger!

You are no longer the star of the show

When you were single, you were the life of the party. On your wedding day, you were the most beautiful woman in the world. When you were pregnant, complete strangers gave up their seats for you and asked how you’re feeling. But when you have a baby, people will look right through you and focus ALL attention on that red-faced, dribbling, sweet little thing and barely notice that you’re there. And you know what? You won’t care a single bit!

You Will Never Look the Same in a Bathing Suit

No one escapes pregnancy unscathed. You will have one or more of the following, even if you manage to loose all your baby weight: stretch marks, a wider derriere, spider veins, sagging breasts (after you stop breastfeeding) a squishy tummy, or at best, a small paunch.  The consolation is that precious bundle of joy that somehow makes it all worthwhile… OK, not all the time. Some advice: Throw the bikini in away and buy a cute one-piece. Because even with the stretch marks, you are beautiful.

You will feel intense jealousy of the “Perfect Moms” out there

Before you have a baby it’s easy to imagine that you will be the Perfect Mom. Then comes the reality check. The real Perfect Mom always look put-together (not a trace of spit up or sweaty hair), their babies never cry, and they have time for yoga class and dinner out with the hubby.  Perfect Mom is out-and-about with all the latest and greatest baby products, shops at the organic farmer’s market, and has lost all her baby weight. Luckily for all of us, Perfect Mom is a myth.  She too has her bad days. And, believe it or not, there might be other moms out there looking at you with envious disgust.

Breastfeeding is the one of the Hardest Things you will ever try to Master

For something that’s supposed to come naturally, breastfeeding can be full of heartache. There are problems latching on, sore, bleeding nipples, blocked ducts and breast infections, not to mention the complete failure you’ll feel like if you can’t feed your own child naturally. Getting a good lactation consultant is key for some, others can get the hang of it with some help from a Google search (I did!). And if you need to bottle feed for any reason, remember that the ability to nurse your baby is not the one and only measure of being a good mom!

You Will Never Leave the House On Time

As a rule, your baby will either spit up all over his– and probably your– outfit or have a poop explosion just as you are walking out the door. Or you will suddenly remember that you haven’t fed him yet. Or you will finally be off on your way only to realize that you left the diaper bag at home. Babies are notorious for messing with your schedule, and you’ll learn that it will take all morning to prepare yourself for an outing. And even then, you may still be late.

People Will Ask if You Need Help—And it will be Hard to Say “YES!”

If you are like me, you absolutely hate to ask others to do anything for you. For one thing, you don’t want to put them out of their way. And for another, well let’s face it, no one is quite as competent as you are.  But now is the time to adjust your thinking and let others step it.  Your friends and loved ones will feel good helping, and you do need the assistance (and a nap). You may be worried that they don’t know the first thing about burping babies or putting them down for a nap, but I assure you, they’ll manage just fine!

You Will Crave the Luxury of Being Alone

You love your baby and your husband more than anything. You feel so blessed to have them in your life. And you are so sick of both of them! This is one more reason why you need to say “Yes” when your sister offers to take baby to the park. This is why your showers are twice as long as they used to be, since Daddy has no choice but to take care of the baby. Finding a little bit of time alone is key to your sanity. Chances are you won’t be going to the theater or getting luxurious massages, but even half an hour to sip a latte and read a book will be refreshing.

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