People will often point out things you should or should not be doing with your new baby… “You hold him too much, you’ll spoil him! You should give her solids, she’ll sleep better at night! You should dress him more warmly! You should take off those blankets! What, you let your baby sleep in bed with you? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?!”

I slept with my daughter until she was two and expecting my second child. Now I sleep with my 5-month old son and have no plans yet to move him out of my bed. When people comment on it, I reply that I like having him close by. Yes, it’s slightly uncomfortable to sleep with him next to me (my arm gets numb and tingly if it’s wrapped around him too long, my back hurts when I’m curled around him in a funny position, or when I fall asleep feeding him…) but for me that’s better than having to get out of bed and go to his room a few times a night to feed him. I like that he’s so close by I can sense him wriggling around and can feed him before he wakes up completely. I like to know he’s right there next to me and that he’s OK.

For those who are unaware of the facts, sleeping with your baby in bed may indeed sound like a dangerous practice. What if she falls off or gets stuck between the mattress? What if one parent rolls onto the baby, or she gets smothered by a pillow or blanket? But when you examine the reality of the situation, it’s apparent that sleeping with your baby in a safe manner may actually be healthier for her than putting her to sleep alone in a crib.

Dr. Sears points out that the incidence of SIDS is dramatically higher in a crib versus a parent’s bed. Although there are cases of accidental smothering and entrapment, such situations are very rare. The September/October 2002 issue of Mothering Magazine presents research done throughout the whole world on the issue of safe sleep. They conclude that not only is sleeping with your baby safe, but it is actually much safer than having your baby sleep in a crib. Infants who sleep in a crib are twice as likely to suffer a sleep related fatality (including SIDS) than infants who sleep in bed with their parents.

Instead of warning parents not to sleep with their babies, Dr. Sears advocates teaching parents how to sleep safely in bed with their babies. Much of this is common sense, but here are the guidelines he suggests:

• It is unlikely for baby to fall out of bed while sleeping next to mother. Dr. Sears compares it to a heat-seeking missiles; babies automatically gravitate toward a warm body. But to be on the safe side, place baby between mother and a guardrail or push the mattress flush against the wall and position baby between mother and the wall. Be sure there are no crevices that baby could sink into.

• Place baby adjacent to mother, rather than between mother and father. Many mothers feel they are so physically and mentally aware of their baby’s presence even while sleeping, that it’s extremely unlikely they would roll over onto their baby. Some fathers, on the other hand, may not enjoy the same sensitivity of baby’s presence while asleep; so it is possible they might roll over on or throw out an arm onto baby. After a few months of sleep-sharing, most dads seem to develop a keen awareness of their baby’s presence.
• Place baby to sleep on his back.
• Use a large bed, preferably a queen-size or king-size. A king-size bed may wind up being your most useful piece of “baby furniture.” If you only have a cozy double bed, use the money that you would ordinarily spend on a fancy crib and other less necessary baby furniture and treat yourselves to a safe and comfortable king-size bed.
• Some parents and babies sleep better if baby is still in touching and hearing distance, but not in the same bed. For them a bedside bassinet or co-sleeper is a good option. This arrangement gives parents and baby their own separate sleeping spaces yet, keeps baby within arm’s reach for easy nighttime care. Dr. Sears suggests the Arm’s Reach® Co-Sleeper® Bassinet (www.armsreach.com).

• Do not sleep with your baby if:
  1. You are under the influence of any drug, alcohol, or tranquilizers. If you are drunk or drugged, these chemicals lessen your arousability from sleep.
  2. You are extremely obese. Obesity itself may cause sleep apnea in the mother, in addition to the smothering risk.
  3. You are exhausted from sleep deprivation. This lessens your awareness of your baby and your arousability from sleep.
  4. You are sleeping on a cushiony surface, such as a waterbed or couch.
• Don’t allow older siblings to sleep with a baby under nine months. Sleeping children do not have the same awareness of tiny babies as do parents, and too small or too crowded a bed space is an unsafe sleeping arrangement for a tiny baby.
• Don’t overheat or overbundle baby. Be particularly aware of overbundling if baby is sleeping with a parent. Other warm bodies are an added heat source.
• Don’t wear lingerie with string ties longer than eight inches. Ditto for dangling jewelry. Baby may get caught in these entrapments.
• Avoid pungent hair sprays, deodorants, and perfumes. Not only will these camouflage the natural maternal smells that baby is used to and attracted to, but foreign odors may irritate and clog baby’s tiny nasal passages.

CNN reports that “women over 35 struggle the most to get pregnant. As a woman ages, the quality of her eggs tends to decline and she may not ovulate as frequently.”

Obstetrician and gynecologist Michael Randell says that a woman has only a 15 percent chance of conceiving each month. About 85 percent of people will conceive in the first year of trying. It may seem that people are having more problems getting pregnant these days, but this is because more people are waiting longer, according to Randell.

He also blames monthly timing. “It’s one of the most shocking things that I see, when patients really don’t know that they only have a small window of opportunity to get pregnant each month. The optimal time of the month for ovulation is 14 days after the first day of your last menstrual period.”

Nevertheless, many couples are putting off starting a family becuase they want to spend time together without the complication of children. Just remember, if you delay, there may be a price to pay later on.

Parenting magazine (May 2008, page 69) says that nearly one third of pregnancy losses are caused by undiagnosed yet treatable disorders. Mary Stephenson, M.D, director of the University of Chicago Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Program recommends that a second loss be sent for chromosomal testing which is underutilized in the U.S. This test can tell whether the miscarriage was due to a random chromosomal error or whether there’s a treatable condition present, such as an inherited genetic abnormality, an endocrine disorder, a uterine problem, or an immunological issue.  Many doctors wait until a third loss or more before they send for testing, but experts say action can and should be taken sooner. 

“When women lose chromosomally normal babies and are thouroughly tested for causes of loss, at least 60 percent have a treatable disorder. Recent advances likely push this number even higher. With treatment, most of these women can have a successful pregnancy. Without it, many will relive the tragedy of miscarriage.” For more information, so Darci Klein’s book, To Full Term: A Mother’s Triumph Over Miscarriage.

I read a story in the news about a woman who delievered a baby in the hospital parking lot, aided by her husband who had experience delivering baby farm animals. The husband could not get into the building because he couldn’t locate the buzzer near the enterance, and the baby just wouldn’t wait any longer. Luckily he did have those births under his belt, and he was able to keep his cool and clear out mucus from the newborn’s throat which was blocking its breathing.  If not for that, I’m sure no one likes to think what could have happened!

Obviously, situations like this are very rare, but such thoughts might have crossed your mind: What do I do if I can’t make it to the hospital in time? What if I have a home birth and the midwife is late? What if I’m stuck in traffic or snowed in at home? If you’ve been pondering these possible situations, there’s nothing to stop you from being prepared for an emergency, and preparing your partner as well.

“When birth is imminent and medical help is unavailable, it is important to understand the normal course of labor and childbirth. The mother and anyone who is helping can make the birth easier and safer by knowing exactly what is happening and how best to help.”  The first step is to learn about the three stages of labor and how to help a laboring woman through each one by reading this Emergency Childbirth article at TheFarm.

Unsure whether there is time to transport the mother to the hospital? Med-help.net has the answers. You can also find additional information there about preparation for and delivery of the baby, with some helpful pictures for those visual learners.

In addition to discussing symptoms of an iminent birth and guidleines for delivery, DiscoveryHealth provides a list of emergency supplies to keep on hand. Things that should be included in your stash are: a flashlight, pillow, clean sheets and towels, suction bulb, sterile rubber gloves, clean scissors, and two clean cord ties.

It might be helpful to print out this 13-page reference guide (actually intended for medical students) and kept on hand.  There are many other sources of information that can be found online or in print, if having it hand will make you feel more relaxed. For a mere $299, the super-paranoid person can even order an emergency childbirth video.

A few words of caution:

•Try not to interfere with the birth. Your job is simply to support the woman and “catch” the emerging baby.

•Keep your hands outside of the birth canal.

•Don’t pull on the baby’s head or body or the umbilical cord.

•Never cut the umbilical cord unless specifically advised and coached by a health care professional.

•Don’t use harsh chemical products around mother or baby. Sterilized water and a mild soap work best.

You can start preparing your body for pregnancy now, even if you are not thinking about starting a family for another few months or even years.  To ensure that you and your baby have the best chance at good health, take a few extra steps to prepare for this important phase in advance. In today’s health-conscious society, you have more choices than ever when it comes to proper nutrition.

Following are five healthy habits to consider before attempting to conceive, as reported by Sally Watts at Charleston.net.

Fat can be good!  According to Dr. Craig Koniver, owner of Primary Plus Family Medicine and founder of The Center for Organic Medicine in Charleston, most with women of childbearing age do not consume enough healthy fat. Healthy omega-3 fats can be found in fatty fish, such as salmon or sardines, as well as foods that contain flax. You can control your omega-3 intake with fish oil and/or flax-seed oil.

Take your vitamins!  It is critical that you take a balanced prenatal multivitamin that contains folic acid, as well as other healthy minerals. Folic acid is vital to fetal development and guards against several congenital malformations. Dr. Koniver also suggests taking selenium, a trace mineral crucial for proper immune system and thyroid function.

Keep the fruits and veges coming!  You should try to consume as many organic fruits and vegetables as possible. Avoiding pesticides and fungicides will help maintain the delicate hormone balance during pregnancy, says Dr. Koniver.

Keep refilling that glass of water! To keep all body systems running smoothly, it’s important to stay hydrated.  A woman’s total blood volume increases by 20 percent or more during pregnancy, and hydration is critical in maintaining health.  According to the March of Dimes, lack of proper hydration can trigger preterm contractions.

Cut back on coffee!  The March of Dimes also suggests women cut back on caffeine before they become pregnant, as caffeine has been linked to miscarriage in studies. For those with a slight caffeine addiction, it’s better to kick the habit before pregnancy begins so you can avoid the struggle once you conceive.

I have a friend named Laila who’s one of the funniest people I know. We worked together in NY before I was married, and we always had a great time together. Now she’s got 6-month old twins, but this blog entry of hers is entitled “One Upon a Belly” and tells the tale of her 4-week labor (so to speak). If you want a chuckle, don’t miss it!

Every mother knows the feeling of trying to soothe a screaming baby. I’m sure every mother has wished at one time or another that baby could just TELL me what’s bothering him! Is he hungry? Tired? Uncomfortable? Gas?

Now you needn’t guess any longer! Priscilla Dunstan’s eidetic memory (a photographic memory for sound) and mother’s intuition helped her discover a universal baby language. Her theory was tested with over a thousand babies, of more than 30 nationalities. Three independent international studies, confirmed the existence of a universal baby language - the Dunstan Baby Language.

Every infant from birth to age three months communicates using the same sounds. These five cries are based on various relexes that a baby has. The “neh” sound is based on the sucking reflex, and means the baby is hungry.  “Owh” is based on the yawn reflex and means baby is tired. “Eh” means baby wants to burp, “air” means baby has gas, and “heh” means baby is uncomfortable (too hot, too cold, needs a new diaper, etc.) These “words” occur even before a baby starts to cry.

If you want to learn more about communicating with your baby, check out the Dunstan Baby Language System. You can also watch Priscilla Dunstan in a video interview at iVillage.com.

My aunt bought me the Patemm changing pad (”a revolution in diaper changing”) as a baby gift. She discovered it after her own daughter (my cousin) had a baby and someone must have bought her this latest mommy-must-have item.

What is it? It’s kind of like a portable diaper bag. When it’s opened up, it’s a large, round changing pad with an easy-clean, wipeable surface. Along the edges are pockets to keep spare diapers, wipes, ointment, and even a change of clothes. Then it folds up into a handy little square package with handles that make it easy to carry along with you wherever you go! It’s really a brilliant idea!

The Patemm pad comes in 22 fun prints all with chocolate brown trim and sewn-in polyester batting. Mine is baby blue, but I really like their patterned pads, such as the red&white “Emma“, or the grey&black “Jack Martin.”

They also have a super-handy, compartmentalized “bote bag” (bottle bag) and small pouches called pitakas which fit perfectly in the patemm pad pockets and can hold hold wipes, small ointments, etc.

Check out the Patemm website to view the funky patterns they come in and read parent’s feedback. It really is “A smart, stylish and practical solution to the diaper bag… makes changing your little one quick and simple… The mom-invented patemm™ pads have received national and international acclaim by parents, caretakers and the media and has truly become an essential baby item!”

We all know that breast milk is the ideal food source for young babies. What some people may not realize is that breastfeeding has benefits for the mother and for society as well!

Here are some of the many benefits of breastfeeding, from WomensHealth.gov:

BENEFITS FOR BABY:

• Breast milk is the most complete form of nutrition for infants. A mother’s milk has just the right amount of fat, sugar, water, and protein that is needed for a baby’s growth and development. Most babies find it easier to digest breast milk than they do formula.
• As a result, breastfed infants grow exactly the way they should. They tend to gain less unnecessary weight and to be leaner. This may result in being less overweight later in life.
• Premature babies do better when breastfed compared to premature babies who are fed formula.
• Breastfed babies score slightly higher on IQ tests, especially babies who were born pre-maturely.

BENEFITS FOR MOM:

• Nursing uses up extra calories, making it easier to lose the pounds of pregnancy. It also helps the uterus to get back to its original size and lessens any bleeding a woman may have after giving birth.
• Breastfeeding, especially exclusive breastfeeding (no supplementing with formula), delays the return of normal ovulation and menstrual cycles. (However, you should still talk with your doctor or nurse about birth control choices.)
• Breastfeeding lowers the risk of breast and ovarian cancers, and possibly the risk of hip fractures and osteoporosis after menopause.
• Breastfeeding makes your life easier. It saves time and money. You do not have to purchase, measure, and mix formula. There are no bottles to warm in the middle of the night!
• A mother can give her baby immediate satisfaction by providing her breast milk when her baby is hungry.
• Breastfeeding requires a mother to take some quiet relaxed time for herself and her baby.
• Breastfeeding can help a mother to bond with her baby. Physical contact is important to newborns and can help them feel more secure, warm and comforted.
• Breastfeeding mothers may have increased self-confidence and feelings of closeness and bonding with their infants.

BENEFITS FOR SOCIETY:

• Breastfeeding saves on health care costs. Total medical care costs for the nation are lower for fully breastfed infants than never-breastfed infants since breastfed infants typically need fewer sick care visits, prescriptions, and hospitalizations.
• Breastfeeding contributes to a more productive workforce. Breastfeeding mothers miss less work, as their infants are sick less often. Employer medical costs also are lower and employee productivity is higher.
• Breastfeeding is better for our environment because there is less trash and plastic waste compared to that produced by formula cans and bottle supplies.

According to this story on HollyScoop, Jennifer Lopez is really setting out to spoil her twins. Not only has she hired a color therapist and professional baby masseuse to pamper her babies, she has also splurged on “Egyptian cotton cot linen, designer Babygros, diamond-engraved rattles and two small ponies.”

But that’s far from the most disturbing part. The “insider” has confided that JLo is “super-paranoid about hygiene. The twins’ wing is totally sterile and all flowers and presents are stored in a separate room, so they don’t contaminate the babies’ area… All house guests must also use an antiseptic hand lotion and wear surgical masks before they enter the children’s nursery.”

That is just crazy!

According to holistic practitioner Natasha Trenev, author of Probiotics: Nature’s Internal Healers, healthy bacteria such as Bifidobacteria and Bene bacteria guard against bad germs in the large bowel and stimulate weight gain in infants. “What we’ve done environmentally is sterilize everything. Healthy bacteria can’t thrive,” she says. There is no need for the current obssesion with sterilization and cleanliness. “A study done in Sweden and Astonia found that babies raised in sterile hospital environments experienced a six-fold increase in allergies.”

CNN calls it the “Hygiene hypothesis,” which holds that when babies are exposed to germs, it helps them fight allergies and asthma later. The presence of some germs allows babies’ and children’s immune systems to develop properly.

According to a study written up in Time Magazine, more people are coming down with allergies and autoimmune disorders like multiple sclerosis (MS) than in the past. One theory is that children live in cleaner environments and are exposed to fewer microbes. Researchers report that test subjects who had the greatest number of younger siblings, no more than six years apart in age, were the least likely to develop MS. It seems that the infections they caught from the younger kids helped train their immune system not to attack their own nerves, which is what happens with MS.

It’s also important to understand when and how to use antibiotics. Antibiotics are only effective against bacterial infections (like strep throat) not viruses (like colds or the flu). C.Health states that the overuse of antibacterial products, including soaps, gels, and antibiotics for throat infections and other ailments, can result in stronger germs that are resistant to the effects of antibiotics.

So what’s the bottom line? If your toddler eats food that was dropped on the floor before you have time to snatch it away, don’t worry. Children are perfectly able to eat non-sterilized food and live in non-sterile environments! Even without the scientific evidence, it never made sense to me to be constantly sanitizing every surface your child comes in contact with. The best way to avoid harmful bacteria is simply good, old fashioned soap and water.